Whoopdi-doo, what does it all meeeeeeaaan, Basil? (basil_ovelby) wrote in panicprincess,
Whoopdi-doo, what does it all meeeeeeaaan, Basil?

  • Mood:

Not sure what to make of this

Hey all, I came across this community while trying to find some answers and hoped that maybe someone here could help me.

I've been experiencing things and for the longest time really didn't think much of it besides my initial discomfort, but I'm beginning to get a bit scared so I wanted to find out what was going on. I think I might be having panic attacks, but I don't know for sure.
I have an intense fear of needles and for the most part, doctor's offices in general tend to make me uncomfortable. I'm sure there's a lot of people who feel the same way.
However, I feel like my fear tends to pretty much overtake me.

Last week I had to go into the clinic at my university to have a physical done for studying abroad. For some reason, the sheet I had to have filled out asked about being tested positive for HIV tests, so I went in expecting to have to get an HIV test done.
From the moment the nurse came out to get me and take me to the room, I was starting to shake and I started breathing really fast. Once the nurse had done the initial tests, she left the room to get the doctor and I just sat in the room practically crying and holding the inside of my arms, which is what I always do even if someone just like... mentions the word needle. My heart was beating really fast and it got a bit hard to think. It actually turned out that my doctor didn't think I needed the test since I'd done nothing that would give me any chance of being HIV positive, but I continued to be like... on edge, with my heart racing and super-alert through the rest of the physical and even the entire walk back to my car, which was like, a 10 minute walk.

Then tonight, I was in my performance arts class and were watching a video, which happened to be about this guy with cystic fibrosis that let his wife do all kinds of weird, very painful things to him (very strange, don't ask), and the entire time I was shaking, breathing heavily and had my whole body curled up as close to me as I could. Afterwards, one of the girls sitting across from me came over to see if I was alright since it looked liked I was about ready to pass out or puke or something. The whole way home I then just felt really out of it and a bit dizzy, like nothing was real. I stopped at Hy-Vee because I was feeling nauseous and thought that eating might help, and the whole time I was there I felt like, super-alert, and like everyone was watching me and ANNOYING me, even though I'm sure no one was. I got back into my car and almost started crying, having to make myself take really deep breaths to settle down.

So now I'm a little scared since I've never had something that intense happen before, and I'm still shaking a little bit, like my body experienced muscle trauma or something. It's hard to concentrate. But I don't know if this was a panic attack or something else or what, and I'd really like to find out some answers to I can look into it more and maybe find some help. =\
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded